


Slowly Dying

by Mylifesfallingapart



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/M, Genderbending, Genderswap, Heavy Angst, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Other, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-12-18 14:13:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18251489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mylifesfallingapart/pseuds/Mylifesfallingapart
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive doesn’t want to live anymore and, despite her wishes, she’s dragging everyone down with her.





	1. Typical Morning

I just stare outside my window. There is nothing, but endless rain and gloom. But hey, when is it not like this in England. I breathe in and out another puff of my cigarette, as it lazily hangs out of my mouth. I don’t even bother to hold it in between my fingers. Too tired. I curl into myself a little. It’s freezing. 

I hear a loud whirl from the outside and look out and down to see a bright red sports car coming down the street....

_well shit_

 

I find a spark of energy within me and leap out of my chair that was previously leaning against the window. 

 _2 minutes_  

I throw on a pair of my heaviest thickest jeans over my leggings, and pull my, also heavy, college jumper over my baggy shirt. I stuff all my pockets with trinkets around my filthy room.

  
_1 minute_

_Some boots! That’ll add some weight.. No. Too obvious._

I drop to the floor at the sound of the car turning off in the driveway. I reach under my bed and pull out my box of goodies. There are fishing weights in there, a lot of them. I quickly shove them in my bra, in my underwear, in my ponytail. Anywhere I can hide them. 

_30 seconds_

I run to the bathroom and run the tap. I put my mouth to the running water drinking as much as I can, as fast as I can. I feel full. I feel sick. 

 _10 seconds_  

Down the stairs, and to the living room. Just enough time to see the door swing open and see one of my many nemesis appear. 

“Mr. Sutcliffe.” 

She looks up at me and smiles. 

“Please, Ms. Phantomhive. It’s Doctor” 

I scowl at her. Clearly annoyed. She knows I hate it when she calls me that. Then again I know how she hates to be called a man. We piss each other off. That’s how we do things. How we have to do things. 

“Oh my” She starts, setting down her bag and pulling out her equipment. “Putting on the whole show for me today are we? I’m so honored.” My glare hardens as I remain silent. In my silence, she continues talking. “Come on. Empty your pockets.” So I do. “And the clothes.” I take them off. “And the weights” I take them out too. I put my head down. My pride won’t let me look at her directly.

She walks up to me with the dreaded machine in her arms. She sets it down right at me feet. A bathroom scale. “Now, step up” I don’t move, but instead try to talk my way out of this.

“How was your weekend?” 

“Lovely. I went to theatre. Hop on.” 

“I was just you know, here. Like always” 

“I’m very sorry to hear that. Hop on.” 

“You know I really do not appreciate these surprise visits of yours.”

”Well, we both know why we aren’t allowed to have scheduled visits don’t we.” 

She speaks to me in such a calm but authoritative voice. She’s not letting me out of this. She never does. I step on. We both peer at the number in antisipation. 

“37 Kilos” 

“That clearly says 38.” I complain. She nods in agreement. 

“Yeah. I know. The other kilo is for the water.” 

Fuck my life. She is being totally unreasonable. 

I go quiet once more. Her face goes from her normal cheer happy to a more sad sympathetic look. I hate that look. She continues running her routine check. The weight is usually the most stressful part so she likes to get that out of the way first. Dr. Sutcliffe checks my blood pressure, blood sugar, heart, etc. 

A half an hour goes by. She’s now packing her things up. 

“Leaving so soon?” I remark sarcastically, as she zips up her bag. She doesn’t respond. She freezes and laments. She looks frustrated. Good. She looks up and me and makes eye contact. It makes me uncomfortable. I look away. 

“How much longer are we going to keep doing this, Ciel?” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“Yes you do. You are supposed to be getting better not worse! Are you even trying?” 

“Not particularly, No.” 

She looks extremely upset at my admission. But slowly it turns to a sympathetic smile and chuckle. 

“Angelo cares about you, you know? I care about you. There are people that would be upset if you died.” 

She doesn’t let me respond. She just leaves. I hear her car drive away. I stand in the silence for a moment, before retreating back to my room.

You’re wrong.

 


	2. We’re fine

“I don’t know doctor, I feel like I’m dying! It’s like I can’t breathe!” The middle aged woman squeals. I try not to wince at her grating voice. 

“I see, lets see if we can take care of that.” I respond calmly. I have to be calm. Angry and anxiety only worsens these types of things. 

It takes 5 minutes to diagnose the problem, and another 30 minutes to convince her that’s she’s using her inhaler wrong. Eventually she leaves, and I have to take a sign of relief. 

“Doctor Durless” I jump at the fimilar voice. I turn around to see my dear colleague, Grell Sutcliffe. 

“Oh Dr. Sutcliffe, what a pleasure to see you today.” She rolls her eyes in fake annoyance. However, her face quickly turns serious. 

“37”

”37, ah I see. Wait, 37!” 

“Yes Angelo, 37”

I start to feel a fimilar panic start up again in me. 

“37. 37. But, that’s lower than last time. The number should be going up, not down, up.” I stutter out, as I begin to start pacing in front of the clinic door. I always get this way when it comes to my nieces health. I worry about her. Constantly. She’s always on my mind. Her condition is always on my mind. It stresses me out. It makes me go  insane, but I can’t let anyone know. I hold it all in. I have to be professional at my job, and a nurse at my home. I must always be calm. Calm. Calm. 

“Angelo!” Grell snaps. She’s the only one that sees this side of me. Not really by choice, but just because it’s usually her delivering the bad news. It’s always bad news. 

“Yes, Angelo, the number is going down. I don’t mean to accuse you, but has she been manipulating you? Throwing fits at dinners, hiding in her room, has she-“ 

I cut her off. 

“She always does that. She’s Ciel. She -“ 

Now she cuts me off. 

“And have you been letting her get away with it?” 

I stay silent at the question. I do not like the answer. 

“Have you?” 

She presses. 

“I don’t like seeing her upset. I don’t like her being miserable all the time. I don’t like fighting with her all the time. I just want this to end.” I explain quietly, slowly. 

“I know you don’t. But, not enforcing the rules make her sicker. You know this. You aren’t fighting her. You are fighting this disease.” 

I begin to tear up. I don’t want to talk anymore and my shift came to an end five minutes ago. 

“I have to go.”

I rush past her and out the door. She doesn’t call after me but i know she wants to. I always end the conversation too early. She wants to help. I want to help. It’s all just too much, though. Two years of this hell. I’m just tired. I walk to my car in silence. I used to like the silence. After a busy day at the hospital, it was nice to come home to the peace and quiet in my home. However, now the silence is my home means more. The silence means that their is a dying girl up the stairs and to the right. She’s dying because she won’t eat. I can’t make her eat. It’s silent because she can’t move some days. It’s silent because she doesn’t want to talk to me. It’s silent because she hates me! 

Suddenly i am in front of my house. I pull into the drive way. I go back into autopilot mode as I enter the quiet house. I enter the living room and see Ciel. She’s on the couch, reading a book. 

She looks up from her book momentarily to acknowledge me. However, she is soon back to her book. 

I take off my jacket and tie as I begin the dreaded conversation. 

“I talked to Dr. Sutcliffe today.” 

“Who?” I ignore her remark. 

“Ciel we can’t do this anymore. You need to start eating more. You need to start caring and trying. I’m not letting you get out of things anymore.” 

She decides to play dumb. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“Fine. Be that way. But you better wash up for dinner.” 

She visabbly flinches at the word, but she decides to comply. She puts her book mark in and slowly gets off the couch and heads to the wash room. Meanwhile, I start heating up the leftovers that will be our dinner. 

I used to genuinely enjoy cooking. However, lately, it’s been rather dull. I’ve also been forced to remove all dangerous objects from the house. That includes kitchen knives. So we, well I suppose I really mean I, have been eating out a lot. I set up two plates on the opposite sides of the long table. 

Ciel joins me. Sitting down in her seat. She just stares at me. I begin to eat knowing that me staring back only agrivates her. I eat slowly, trying to give her as much time as possible to eat her meal. 

She just lifts up the fork by then end and pushes the day old Chinese food around the plate. She looks conflicted by it. 

“You’re not leaving until you eat.” I say still not looking at her. However I can feel the air turn colder. 

“It smells” She argues. 

“I’ll be happy to get you something else.” I try to reason. 

I can feel her hard glare on me. I look down at my almost empty plate. Then I finally look up at her. We make eye contact. Then all hell broke loose. 

“I’m not eating this.” She snaps. 

“I told you I’ll get you something else.” 

“I’m not eating anything.” 

“Yes you are. Ciel, please don’t fight me today.” I beg. She’s a grown adult, 19, she shouldn’t be acting like she’s 10. 

“I’m not hungry. I’m tired. Can I go to bed.” It wasn’t a question but a demand. 

“Not until you finish your plate.” 

Shes been getting angrier and angrier. Stay strong. Is the disease not her. The disease not her. The disease not- 

Theres a loud slam of the ciramic plate hitting the floor. Rice and chicken all over the floor. 

“IM NOT EATING IT” She screams hysterically, and before I can respond she runs up the stares. I hear a door slam. 

I finish my food in the dreaded silence. I grab a beer from the fridge and go to my room. Leaving the mess for another day. I pass by ciels room and hear quiet sobs. I let a few tears run myself. Should i go in? No.

I go to bed. After all got to get rested for another miserable day.  


	3. Just Another Day

I don’t wake up to an alarm. I’ve recently became a light sleeper and I wake up to the sound of my uncle shuffling around his room, getting ready for the day. 

I personally don’t feel like getting ready for the day. I rarely do. In my same leggings and baggy tee, I drag myself into a sitting position. The world is spinning. 

I then have to pull myself into a standing position. So tired. I wish I could stay in bed all day. Some days I can’t even get out of bed. However, I know Angelo will come and get me for breakfast eventually. 

I walk towards the door, not even bothering to shower, brush my teeth or hair, when suddenly my knees give in. I fall to the floor. My world goes dark for a moment. When everything suddenly comes back, and I’m staring at my ceiling. I can’t move. 

I hear a knock on my door and a wiry voice start. 

“Ciel. It’s time for breakfast. Come down stairs with me.” 

I don’t answer. I can’t answer. All my energy goes into pulling myself off the floor. Slowly and painfully. 

“Ciel Come on. Please. Can’t we just have a nice morning.” 

I’m finally up. Leaning against my wall, and out of breathe. I can’t deal with breakfast too. 

“I’m not hungry.” I manage to spit out. 

I hear him sigh loudly. 

“I’ll see you downstairs.” 

With that I hear his footsteps slowly fade. I also sigh loudly. This is exhausting. 

I make my way down stairs. Slowly shuffling and using the wall as support. I make my way down the stairs and to the Kitchen, while ignoring the pounding in my head. 

Angelos back is facing me, as he makes breakfast. I think he heard me come in, but does not acknowledge me. I sit down in my regular seat. I watch him cook, and i smell the food. It smells ~~good~~ terrible. He finally finishs and brings me a small plate with scrambled egg whites and some fruit.

I can tell he doesn’t want a fight, as the food is something that would be okay to eat, and he gave me a smaller portion than usual. Frankly I do not want to fight either so I’ll comply. This once. 

I slowly cut the food into little peices. I take small bites, and Angelo doesn’t stop me likes he usually does. In fact he looks a little relieved. 

Its not like I want to make him miserable. I don’t. I just don’t want to eat. Why can’t he just see that, and leave it alone. Honestly, it would make both of our lives easier.  

We finish our breakfast, and Angelo heads off to work. And I’m alone. In the silence of his big home. 

It’s really not so bad. It’s quite a beautiful house. It is smaller than the home that I grew up in, but still huge. Definitely, too big for 2 people. 

I often do miss my old home. I miss my old life. I refuse to admit it out loud. I think it would break my dear uncles heart. Not to mention, mine as well. 

Back to a time with out constant fighting. Without family feuds over inheritance. Without the constant doctor visits. Without this misery. Back with them. And back with _him_. 

As much as I miss it, i can never get it back. It’s all burned to the ground. 

* * *

 

I finish unloading the truck with Finny. 

“Alright James! We are good!”

I yell over the blaring engine of the Semitruck. He waves his hat at us and drives off. I turn to the young man helping me.

Finnian, he’s a good kid. In his late teens, a highschool drop out, and strong as hell. Honestly, I don’t know where he gets it from. 

“Once we bring these crates inside, then we are done for the day.” I smile at him and he smiles widely back. He quickly stacks 3 crates and brings it inside. I just grab one. I don’t need to throw out my back. By the time we unload everything, it’s night fall. We get our payment for the day, and we hop in my beatup truck and head home. 

We do not work there regularly. It was an odd job to help pay the rent. However, I don’t think that it’s going to. We do live in London after all. One of the most expensive cities. Even sharing an apartment, and working all the time, the 3 of us still barely make enough. 

Oh yeah, we do have a third roommate, Mey-rin. She works as a maid, as her day job, and at a bar at night. So, I don’t know if she will be home by the time she gets home. 

We get through the door, only to smell food. Mediocre food, but food non the less. Mey is home and is cooking some dinner. Good. I’m starving. 

“Bard. Finny.” 

She greets as we walk through the door. 

“Hi Mey!” Finny yells back a bit too enthusiasticly. 

“How was your day?” 

“Exhausting.”

”Easy” 

She giggles at our responses. 

I go to take over dinner but she shoos me away. So, instead I decide to go out and have a smoke. 

I stare up at the night sky. It’s nice. Pretty even. It would be even better if all the city lights were off, but I’m not complaining. 

“BARD DINNERS READY” Finny shouts our apartment window down at me. 

I put out my cigarette and head upstairs. Just another day. 


	4. A Little Help

I leave Ciel as I head off to work. I feel bad leaving her all day, but someone has to pay the bills. 

I get to work and it’s another day of idiotic patients, and their even stupider families. Sometimes i swear the families are worse. 

I am in my office, finishing up some paper work, when my dear friend and colleague, Dr. Sutcliffe, bursts through the door. 

“We need to talk.” She says in a stern commanding voice. 

“What exactly about?” I respond in a tired bored tone. I love the woman but I swear she bursts in at all the wrong times. 

“I have been to your house multiple times this month, and it is clear that you have a problem.” My bored mood instinantly changes to an enraged one. 

How dare she. Doesn’t she know that I am trying my best? Doesn’t she know that Ciel is impossible! It’s not my fault! I don’t have a problem! They’re the ones who-

“The house is positively filthy, the fridge is barren, and the garden is lacking.” She finished point blank. I calm down. She’s actually talking about the house. Though I do feel a bit embarrassed. 

“I haven’t had enough time to-“ I mumble but she cuts me off. 

“I know. Which is why I set up fliers around town for you!” 

“What?! Why would you do that?!” 

“Because you ‘haven’t had enough time’”

I glare at her. 

“It’ll be good for you to get some help.” She finishes and struts out of the room. 

I slump down in defeat. I don’t need help. 

However, it might be good for Ciel to have company at home all day. 

 

* * *

I just finished my shift as a chef at a local diner. Those customers do not want to know what’s in that food. It makes even me shiver. 

Now all I have to do is pick up Finny, who is mowing lawns for spare cash, and then we can head out to another odd ball job. 

I pick him up from this elderly woman’s house, we head out, and get back in the early morning of the next day. Exhausted. Our heads barely hit the pillow when a loud crash comes from the living room. I jump up only to hear Mey scream out. 

“GUYYYYYYSSSSS”

We jump up to see if something’s wrong, but all we see is Mey in the doorway, coming back from her own shift. She slams the door in her excitement, and runs to us. She ways these neon color papers in our faces frantically.

”LOOK WHAT I FOUND” She screams. Earning a loud scream form our upstairs neighbor. Mey winces and screams back an apology. 

“Mey, What has you all excited?” Finny asks. 

“Look!” She whispers, as she shoves the papers in our hands. Finny is practically illiterate, so I read outload. 

“Wanted positions for a Maid, Garder, and Chef” I pause. Finny and I kind of freeze, as Meys smile widens. I, now sharing in the enthusiasm, continue to read. They are offering decent pay, a place to stay, and it is in the rich part of town. This could be it, our big break. 

Mey informed us that she already called, and the three of us had an interview tomorrow! They wanted help, ASAP. We could do that. 

* * *

 

It’s the next day, and we all put on our best clothes we owned, which weren’t as nice as they should’ve, but it’s all we got.

We all head in out in my truck to the place listed on the flyer. We pull into the ritsy neighborhood, if you could even call it that. 

All the houses were far apart, with a lot of land. The houses themselves were mansions in their own right. Finny commented on them looking like castles. He was right, it looked like we jumped back a hundred years. It was truly magical. 

We find what we believe to be the house and pull into the driveway, as per instructed, and go to the door. I knock as Mey quickly tries to straighten up Finny one final time. 

The door opens, and there stands a red haired women, in business casual attire. 

“Hello! You must be the applicants.” She said kindly. She shook all of our hands as Mey rin began to stutter out a yes. She just chuckled and invited us in. 

The inside was just as beautiful as the outside, though it was obvious why we were here. Dust was beginning to collect, and other tiny imperfections were beginning to show. 

The woman let’s us look around in amazement. I was in a complete daze, until I locked my eyes on a man sitting on the couch. 

He looked nervous, about as nervous as we were. He got up and came to greet us at the woman’s becan. He walked over to us to greet us, but before he could even open his mouth, the woman cut in. 

“This is Doctor Angelo Durlass, the owner of this house, and your possible new employer. I am Doctor Grell Sutcliffe, and i am merely an instigator for this whole thing.” 

He quickly blurts out a “Nice to meet you all.” Before his friend, I suppose, kept on blabbering. He gave us an apologetic smile, and now cut her off. 

“Grell I think we should be showing them the property now.” She agreed and we head out. 

Doctor Durlass explains the property and the responsibilities we would have, and asks us questions about ourselves, as we walked around, however, he made it a clear point to avoid the upstairs.

Doctor Durlass seemed quite interested in our past. How we were all practically family and all. He found it quite endearing and sweet. We made a complete circle, and finally ended up back in the living room. 

The mood made a complete circle as well. Starting out as formal, then going to a sort of casual thing, but now as sat down on the couches, his face turned serious. 

“You all are truly a wonderful bunch, and I did do back ground checks before you came here, so I know all that checks out too. However, there is more I feel you should know before I offer you this job.” He starts. The woman looks kind of concerned however also annoyed at what he is about to bring up. 

“Grell does not live here with me. It is my niece and I, that live here. She is very ... ill, and, um” he tries to choke out his words, when Grell tries to finish. 

“Look, Ciel can be difficult to deal with, and if you choose to work here, you will be around her a lot. She is a sweet kind girl, however, she can come off as cold, mean, and rude. Another reason why my dear Angelo wanted to hire help was so that he could have someone to watch over her and keep her safe.”

Angelo looks like he is having a hard time keeping it together. 

“Who the hell are they?” A cold annoyed voice calls from the forbidden stair case. We all quickly turn to it, and my eyes widen at surprise at what I saw. 

A young teenage girl, who looked like a ghost. Her body was so thin and frail. Her eyes, while this bright beautiful blue, were sunken in, and had incredibly dark dark circles under them. Her skin was as white as snow, and she looked like she could drop dead at any moment. 

She scans us over, and locks eyes with her uncle. The tension immediately increases.

Angelo gets defensive. “Ciel go back up stares.” He snaps, so, she snaps back. 

“I wasn’t aware I was confined to my room.” 

“Ciel please, not know” Grell pleads. 

“Why? Am I being to cold? Mean? Rude?” 

Shit she heard us. 

“Ciel Phantomhive, we will talk about this later.” 

“No! Who the fuck are these people, and what are they doing here-“ I immediately marched up to the stairs. She takes a step back in shock. 

I smile. I hold out my hand. “I’m Bardroy, Miss Phantomhive. I am the new chef. It is very nice to meet you.” 

She looks at me shocked. The red heads look at me shocked, and my fellow workers looked shocked. 

She slowly took my hand, and shook it. Then, turned around and headed back upstairs. 

The Doctors looked at me, then to each other and then back at my friends. 

“You’re all hired.” 

 


	5. First Day

We were all ecstatic at the job offer. It was perfect timing too. Our lease was up the next week so we made plans with our new employer to move in the upcoming Tuesday. 

For the next week our apartment was filled with this chaotic energy of both nervousness and excitement. Mostly excitement however. We all put in our notices, and packed what little we had.

Really this was the best we could have ever hoped for. New job in a good, safe, area with a kind seeming boss. We could all stay together and our little family could grow. Possibly. 

My mind constantly went back to the Phantomhive girl. While she was only seen briefly, she made her self known and acknowledged. 

I remember walking up to her. Staring into her eyes. Her cold and lifeless eyes. I had only seen those type of eyes back when I was in the army. The eyes of a man broken down by gore and the constant stress of war. It was quite rare to see in the average person. Especially in a young rich heiress. 

I remember shaking her hand. It was freezing despite the quite warm temperature around us. It’s almost as if she was a walking corpse. 

I also remember that it was my ability to confront and silence the “beast” that won us the job. They seemed impressed, and in awe. It was quite clear to me that their is a lot of tension between the lot of them. And, that Miss Phantomhive is probably at the center of it. 

I was not given a lot of information about Miss Phantomhive. All I know is that she is sick and difficult to work with. I don’t know what she has or anything about her personality. 

She was there for a moment, then gone back upstairs without a trace. As soon as she retreated back up stairs, I wanted to ask the doctor more about his niece, but as soon as I saw the defeated look in his face I decided to keep my mouth shut. 

A sensitive topic for another time. 

Finny and Mey did not mention her existence at all. Finny talked about how beautiful their yard was and how much we will love to be back outdoors. Mey fantasied about the handsome Doctor Durless. 

However, finally the wonderful day came. It was the first day of our brand new job. 

We all woke up bright and early, feeling like a kid on Christmas. Quickly we put our boxes into a beat up truck and headed to the Durless estate. 

We pulled up to see the two red headed doctors waiting for us. Both looking as excited as we were. 

Doctor Sutcliffe had mentioned on our way out that “Angelo and Ciel were always so lonely.” And how “This will be good for them!” 

The two doctors offered to help us bring in our things, we refused, they insisted. So, with their help we quickly brought in all our boxes with a single trip.

Once we were all in the house, I was quick to realize that there was a lack of a young blunette.

“Hey Doctor Durless. Where’s Miss Phantomhive?”

The atmosphere tensed. It even seemed to affect Finny and Mey. They only met the girl once and even they started to shutter at her name. 

Sutcliffe just smiled and pointed upstairs. However, a sharp voice quipped from the stairwell. 

“Why? Miss me already?” 

We all turn and back on her perch of sorts was Ciel Phantomhive. Still in her baggy clothing, unkempt hair and skeletal frame. 

“Ciel! Glad you could join us!” Sutcliffe greeted cheerfully. She clearly wasn’t as opposed to directly addressing Ciel as Durless was. 

“Well I thought I should meet my new cell mates.” She looked at Mey and Fin. 

“As well as my new tormentor.” She looks at me now. Did I make a bad first impression? 

Dr. Sutcliffe scoffs at her. “For goodness sakes, Ciel we’ve talked about this.” She just rolls her eyes and retreats back upstairs keeping with her streak short appearances. 

We are all shown to our rooms. They are all huge, at least to us. With a brand new everything including wardrobe. This really is too good to be true. 

* * *

 

The plan for the day was to just sit back and enjoy our new home. Both doctors said that formalities were only necessary in the face of company but on average days like this to not bother. Easy enough. 

They went over a list of tasks we were expected to complete and when. As well as explained Angelo’s work schedule which is chaotic to say the least. He apparently could be whisked away at any moment.

Which is what ended up happening. An accident happened on Main Street with a lot of people injured and they needed every surgeon available. So, off Angelo went. However, Grell did stay, her practice apparently focusing more on family medicine. 

As 6:00 o clock hit, Grell was starting to prepare dinner. I tried to intervene as I was chef now. She laughed and said that tonight was all about relaxing. I still offered my assistance and she accepted. 

I aided in dinner as my companions wandered the property. It truly was beautiful, and Sutcliffe and I got to talking. 

It was all small talk. However, as our stew was finishing up, I could see Ms. Grell start to become more and more nervous. 

“What’s wrong, Ms. Grell?” I tried to ask causally. She brushed it off quickly trying to take the nervousness off of her face. 

“Oh nothing.” And through observing the odd bunch I think i know where the stress is coming from. 

“Should I go get Fin, Mey, and Ms. Phantomhive for dinner?” She tenses at her name. She looks conflicted then serious. 

“Look. I know that they both don’t want me to say anything, but as the chef I feel you have a right to know.” She takes a deep breath. 

“Ciel has a ... problem with... meal time. She has a hard time eating. I feel like in the beginning it would be best to give her her dinner before everyone else. But you have to watch her. Make sure she eats everything. She may throw a fit or try to manipulate her but do not let her push you around.” She looks so serious. I can feel the pressure. However, I find it a bit odd. The way she takes about Ms. Phantomhive as if she were a spoiled child. 

She takes in another breathe. “I will go get her. She will have dinner with us supervising then we will all eat. And then I can go over with you Ciel’s meal plan.” 

Before I can ask any questions she is hustling towards the stairs. I now also feel the dread of dinner. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ill try and make chapters longer in the future. This is kind of just an introduction. Hope you enjoy and give me feedback so I can improve my writing.


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